My first appointment with my therapist was one of the hardest days of my life. It was very hard for me to sit there with someone I had just met and spill all the details of my inner most thoughts. Thankfully he is great at his job and did nothing but listen to me talk and hand me the Kleenex. After detailing our 8 session plan for teaching me how to stop the negative thinking, he set me up for an appointment with the M.D. He told me that he thought I had an anxiety disorder and he wanted me to be reviewed for medication.
The 3 weeks between that appointment and my appointment with the M.D. were really rough. I was noticing that my "situation" was getting daily and it was really starting to scare me. I was flying off the handle at the slightest things and I felt completely out of control when it happened. I could hear myself screaming in my head to stop acting like that but I just couldn't. I felt trapped.
At my appointment with the M.D. I told my story again and when I said one thing in particular his expression told me he was on to something. He started asking me a more detailed set of questions and when he was done he said "I think you are mildly bipolar".
Ding! Ding! Ding! Folks we have a winner!!!
He assured me that he did not think I was as bad as some other people who
They always say that hindsight is 20/20 and now that I know that I've pretty much been living with this my entire life I can look back at certain things I did and go "wow, that was a manic episode". Say, for example, the time I drove 120 mph the entire 3 hours to Atlanta. Yeah, that's not something a normal person would probably do.
So, I am going to use this blog to detail what it's like to live with bipolar disorder. I'm still learning how to cope and I've only been on the medication for a few days now but I hope that being able to share with the internet what I'm going through will help me cope with it.
3 comments:
Thank you for sharing this. As you know, I have a problem with anxiety, have been coping with it thanks to Mr. Zoloft for a year now. Before that it was Mr. Paxil. I did some therapy too. I think everyone has something in their head they have to iron out somehow. You can talk to me anytime. Love ya!
My profile pic really goes with my response, huh? LOL
ufnktkyk----a relatively unknown species of chicken that is unfunky.
Thank you both for the comments. I'm thinking this blog is going to be beneficial to my coping with my newfound friend.
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